God and me!

There is only one issue on which i keep fighting mom. God! I have been thinking for long about what God is and why it is such an issue specially in the kind of society I live in where he is the one who does everything. All issues are to be solved by him!

The first time I read about a person not believing in God was about Swami Dayanand Saraswati questioning God  not able protect food offered to him. It was a single line in my text but it left a great impact on me. I questioned for the first time to myself on God’s existence.

On another extreme I also do remember questioning a teacher at school with something like “how can you say Jesus exists if you dont think Ganesha does” I think it shocked her. Even though I did not realize it much at that stage but I guess it was more than rude to say this to a Christian Nun who was dedicating her life for teaching students of all beliefs!

That was the time when I was very confused or may be did not know the answer. My mom and family are fairly or lets say extremely religious. My grandfather used to donate lot of money to temples without even letting his name known! I have been exploring a lot ever since and was very confused until may be 2-3 years back when I started taking a very strong opinion about God’s existence or his non – existence.

The points against were obvious. I did not find any reason to believe. I never did. My mom was very religious but she faced a lot of her difficulty in her life when i was young for a lot of reasons! My grand father was a very religious person but my uncle expired at a very young age. I guess these two thoughts shook me whenever I wanted to believe in God!’

Recently whenever I have bowed down to him, I have always said one thing. if you exist I hate you. The only reason that I bow to you is because my mother finds joy in me bowing in front of something that does not exist!

More perspective from Hinduism!

It was refreshing to read that even Rig Veda talks about non existence of God and that it questions his existence!

“Whence was it produced? Whence is this creation?
The gods came afterwards, with the creation of this universe.”

And for those who do not know! Hinduism gives enough space for Atheists! That is why I kept wondering why i keep calling myself a Hindu and still am not a believer.  (I am not well read of the religious text but would love to do that too some day!)

What I always believe in and always want people to believe in is that it is their heart that matters! If their souls are in the right place you need no God. That is why I keep telling my mom to be worried the day I start being “wrong” to people and by deeds! “wrong” again is a word which at a philosophical level is non existent and does not make sense!

Oh yeah I forgot to say, If you believe in god, then please help in charity not in building another grand temple in the name of the lord.

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